US Med Voice

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Vol. 4, No. 2 | February 2012

 

 

 

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Marriage...Second Time's a Charm?
Sometimes It Takes Two to Get Marriage Right
US MED Gives Back

Comparing first and second marriages that end in divorce shows that, on average, they last the same amount of time: eight years, according to a Census Bureau report.

A professor of sociology at Johns Hopkins University says the fact that the divorce rate isn't higher for remarriages shows that people are trying hard, and with great success, to make their second marriages work. The 2009 report shows 19 percent of marriages in 2008 were the second marriage for at least one spouse.

If you are considering remarriage, here are some issues to consider.

* Take your time. Some psychologists say a seven-year break is best before remarriage. It gives you time to heal or forgive, time to mature, time to consider what type of partner you want, and what you would do differently.

* Decide why you want to remarry. Do you want a father or mother for your kids? Financial security? Know what you want and don't want.

*Marry someone you can communicate with. Be able to talk freely with each other.

* Make sure he or she agrees go to couples therapy after the marriage if necessary.

* Talk about money. Consider separate finances and whether you can make a go of it if the marriage prospect is paying child support or alimony.

* Start fresh. Live in a different house, a new neighborhood or a different community.

* Develop new routines. Adopt new habits and traditions to make the remarriage a success.

* Practice flexibility. If you have been single for some time, you may have your own set routine. Be open to change and compromise.

* Give your new spouse time to be alone with his or her children.

* Talk about who will make parenting decisions.

 

 

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